


Nott on the Case

by OpheliaLMX



Series: Definitely not a romantic sub-plot... [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series), Critical Role (Web Series) RPF
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, I mean in my own way, If you haven't flirted with your friends in character have you even D&D, Innuendo with a capital I, M/M, Nott the Best Detective Agency, Some references to het ships but nothing serious, Well mostly but canon is my thing so it's close, Widofjord Week
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-05-18 17:43:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19339423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpheliaLMX/pseuds/OpheliaLMX
Summary: Fjord and Caleb try to navigate a new aspect to whatever relationship they have. Even though Nothing Has Changed.Meanwhile: Nott has good reason to be extremely suspicious of Fjord. It's time for the Detectives to look into his obviously very real sneaky dealings and secret motives...ORNeither Travis nor Liam really know what they are in for, but either way, they've signed up for whatever is happening between their characters, and it's... quite a ride.Meanwhile: Sam and Laura take an idea andrun with it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In the canon timeline, this is still taking place around the first part of e62.  
> No spoilers, but I promise I wrote the first part of this before episodes 67 and 68.
> 
> So this is way late for widofjord week, but it turns out my style of writing doesn't necessarily lend itself to... well, 'romance' per se, so in terms of prompts, they're not so much in the first chapter.
> 
> ANYWAY, this is a tonne of fun to write, and my own mind and the lovely comments from 'Mixing it Up' ensured there would be another sequel, so here I am! Doin my best to write the most self-referencial and meta players at the Critical Role table...

It is half past seven on a Thursday, and tonight is off to an interesting start. Unsurprisingly, given recent events, the Mighty Nein’s first order of business is to thoroughly (some might say over-thoroughly) investigate their new house. Despite their best efforts to decode what it could mean, they do not find anything suspicious about the lone chair in the attic (beyond its ominous presence, of course). The ground floor, while eerie in places with marks on the floors and walls indicating where works of art were once displayed, also does not seem to be hiding any dangerous secrets.

Once they reach the basement, however, it does not take long to discover something very unusual. Thanks to most of the Mighty Nein being thoroughly paranoid, and Marisha rolling a natural nineteen on an investigation check, they discover what Matt describes as a rickety-looking but surprisingly sturdy old crate, inside of which is located a very localised, very suspect, interdimensional portal. Their first thought, of course, is that this must be another rift.

When they look in, though, Matt describes not the nightmarish landscape of the Abyss, but what sounds like the inside of a shadowy old entrance hall, with a large staircase clearly visible, and ornate pillars they can’t see too well from this side of whatever gate they are peering through. Matt explains that this seems like old magic, though not ancient, and (as deduced by Caleb/revealed thanks to Liam’s moderately good arcana roll) the magical essence has been corrupted somehow, as if it has curdled in the absence of its enchanter.

"Caleb just pulls out his spellbook, and slaps it on the ground," says Liam, and slips into Caleb's voice. "Ten minutes, please."

"And you're casting...?" Matt asks.

"I will begin to ritual cast Identify," says Liam-Caleb.

"On what, the crate?" asks Laura. Liam gives a nod, but she still goes into Jester's voice. "Caleb. Caleb, what are you doing, Caleb?"

"Ah, fuck it," says Travis-Fjord. "I'm going to summon the Summer's Dance falchion, and just poke it in there..."

Even before he finishes the sentence, there is a hint of a surprised smile on Matt's face; and paper rustles ever so faintly from behind his DM screen.  
"Okay then. As you do that-"

"No, what the hell-?" Marisha-Beau yelps as most of them perk up from whatever thoughts might have been taking them, and Travis lays both of his hands on the table, sitting at attention.

"Fjord," says Matt again. "You summon the falchion, and each of you see the now familiar sight of the long, curved blade encrusted with barnacles, salt water flung from apparently nowhere, to scatter over the dusty basement floor. Fjord holds it in front of him, towards this apparent portal to some strange dimension you do not recognise, and as the tip of the blade crosses through..."

Matt pauses, just for a moment, as they all watch him warily.

"I would like for you to make a strength saving throw," he finishes.

"What, not okay," says Taliesen. "Not okay."

"I'll dismiss the falchion!" Travis tries.

"You can do that in a moment," Matt tells him with a half-smile. "But for now, make a strength saving throw for me." He glances between the players. "Hey, he's the one poking at an interdimensional gate."

"Yeah," says Sam, "But it's just the tip though-" He holds up his fingers, half an inch apart, but it’s pretty clear he’s not actually arguing.

“Just the tip,” Liam agrees.

"That's how dimensions work, right?" says Sam, looking to between the others with a half-hearted smile.

"I’m sure it'll be fine," says Travis, and Marisha squeezes in next to him to watch as he rolls his die. "See, with my saving throw of… eleven, it will be fine."

"At first, it just feels like the falchion is being tugged," Matt announces. "But then, when you dismiss your weapon, you feel them, what seem like...” He pauses, flexing his hands slowly and thoughtfully. “Long, trembling… spectral fingers winding around your body…”

“"Nope," says Travis, cringing and crossing his arms. "Nooope."

“… Threading around your back, your waist, your neck, only semi-material,” Matt goes on, despite the growing displeasure in the faces of the players. “Gentle, icy chills wrap around you, drawing you forward, and each is soft, like a caress, but when the force of them is combined their strength just overwhelms you... You guys all watch as just the faintest fingers of shadow seep out from this crate, from the portal within, and steadily, with hundreds of little tendrils, envelope Fjord's body, and he takes a half-step back before they suddenly seem to draw taut! And you see him lurch forward-"

"So, in nine minutes and forty-two seconds, I will be able to -," begins Liam-Caleb, flatly, and looks up, catching the eye of Ashley, whose jaw has dropped open. “Oh,” he says, deadpan, but then glances over at Travis. “… Fjord?”

"Can I try to catch him?" asks Marisha, grabbing onto Travis’s shoulders as Taliesen jumps in,

"Eyes of the Grave, as soon as I see the shadow-fingers reaching out."

“Can I try to shoot at them?” asks Sam uncertainly. “Before Fjord gets shadow-fingered?”

“They’re tendrils,” says Matt, patient but sending a cool look Sam’s way. “Not literal ‘fingers’ per se – but sure, you can give it a try…”

 

\- 0 -

 

The thin, delicate fingers of shadow wrap around Fjord, and his obscured form jolts forward. Caduceus’s eyes flash dangerously, and Nott tries to shoot a bolt between Fjord and the crate – but it just splinters against the basement wall. Beau leaps to Fjord with lightning speed, and wraps her arms around his torso to try and pull him back – and the shadowy tendrils immediately begin to surround her, too.

Fjord and Beau are yanked out of their home dimension, piercing, almost overwhelming pain driving into their minds – but in the basement of the Xorhaus, the only sound left behind is a faint, whistling breeze and the increasingly frantic voices of the rest of the Mighty Nein.

“We have to get them out!” Jester cries, leaning dangerously close to the crate and staring through the portal. “Can we do that?”

“I could just turn the crate over,” says Yasha, the hard edge to her voice betraying her nerves. “Would they just fall out? I don’t know how this works.”

“I can’t see them inside!” Jester tells the others, twisting her hands together. “I could dispel the magic?”

Nott lowers her crossbow and steps up beside Jester, arms crossed and eyes narrowed, and Caleb is seated on the floor next to the crate with his spell book open, hands raised as the glowing remnant a spell fades from them; it is not clear whether he managed to cast it in time to make any difference to Beau or Fjord. Yasha and Caduceus stand a little further back, Caduceus’s eyes still easing back to their usual, gentle shade of pink.

“This is just a doorway,” he says softly. “I don’t think we should close it unless we’re all on this side of it…”

Caduceus looks at Caleb questioningly. For a moment, there is quiet, and one by one the others look at the wizard also until finally he seems to notice. Caleb shuts his spellbook with a snap.

“I – I do not think I have time to ascertain the nature of this before we act,” he says, visibly uncomfortable. “I have already told you all that I know.” Caleb stands up from the floor and draws some arcane symbols in the air, a thin sheen of magic momentarily rippling around his body.

“I bet this is part of Fjord’s plan,” Nott growls, glaring at the portal. “Who just pokes a dimensional portal? I knew he was up to something.”

"Mr. Fjord has a plan?" asks Caduceus with a mildly surprised smile. "That’s reassuring, I didn't realise."

“Nott-” Caleb starts uncertainly, but Nott interrupts him.

"Fuck it," she says, and takes a deep drink from her flask. “Let’s go save Beau.”

 

\- 0 -

 

It turns out that the crate leads to some kind of strange, shadowy echo of the Xorhaus. When each of the party arrive, they find themselves ten feet in the air, ready to tumble with echoing thuds to the dusty, wooden floor, and reeling from a huge dose of psychic damage. It is a pocket dimension (as Fjord deduces thanks to Travis’s excellent arcane roll) – but being inside of it doesn’t really answer many questions. If anything, it invites more.

The house contains different furniture, and it all seems very old indeed. It is clean, and some kind of spectres seem to lurk in the corners. They sound ominous – but the moment any of the Mighty Nein lands a blow on one, it seems to simply disappear. Still, they are not undead – and nor is the only being that actually attacks the group inside of this space. It is not a battle, per se. They do go into combat rounds, and they do get to try and attack the thing, whatever it is. But it’s invisible, it has no trouble moving in and out of the walls, it is very difficult to hit, and it doesn’t assault the Mighty Nein by hitting them per se, but apparently just by moving through them. It's like one long lair action.

The fourth time it manages to swoop through the room, hitting multiple party members, dealing decent chunks of cold damage and temporarily paralysing Beau before disappearing into the floor, the cast decide it’s not a fight worth having. Matt hasn’t given any indication of how hurt the thing has been by the few attacks of opportunity that they managed to land. How would they know, after all? It’s invisible. The Mighty Nein make a bee-line for the basement.

Matt describes this basement as almost identical to that of the real Xorhaus, but with more clutter – extra crates and boxes, a couple of stacked writing desks and a full dining room furniture set. And there is a crate with a shimmer of whirling magic that matches the force that brought them here in the first place. The invisible attacker is still active in here, though. It takes a legendary action to do what it always does – it moves through the room, melting through Yasha and Caleb again to deal eleven and five cold damage respectively. Ashley winces as Yasha fails the save and is paralysed for her next turn.

In ones and twos, the group manage to leave through the crate. Similar shadowy tendrils reach out to engulf their bodies when they touch it, and the cast can only hope this will deposit them back in Xorhas. Matt maintains a suspiciously innocent expression the whole time.

“So – Fjord, you’re up, and then Jester,” says Matt as the invisible creature finishes its turn (which is of course used to swoop through the two remaining members of the group who are in the room; they both save against the paralysis though).

“Come over here, Fjord, let’s go together,” says Laura-Jester urgently.

Travis hesitates.  
“What do the writing desks look like?”

Taliesen frowns, holding his hands together with a look of focus on his face, and Sam, possibly not quite out of character, glares suspiciously at Travis.

“We’ve got to go,” says Laura again.

“Are you wanting to make a perception check for your action-?” Matt starts.

“No, but just, in general,” says Travis. “Do they have drawers, papers?”

Matt frowns thoughtfully.  
“One of them is a heavy, solid maple,” he says. “Seems to have three drawers, one open with a book or maybe paper, simple stationary, one open but you can’t see what’s inside – and as you glance to the opposite wall, you can also see a narrower, paler wooden desk with closed drawers, and in this split second you notice a couple of vials, and maybe crumpled up paper? You’re not sure. That's all you can see without taking the time to look properly.”

“Are they potion vials?” asks Travis.

“You don’t know.”

Travis runs his tongue over his teeth, looking down at the map.  
“Okay,” he says, half to himself. “Fuck it, I’m going to use the Summer’s Dance falchion to Misty Step over to here, and I’ll try and take as much as I can from the drawer.”

Travis points over at one of the walls of the large basement, and Matt raises his eyebrows.  
“You mean the-?”

“From the drawer in the maple desk, I’ll grab the papers, or book, or whatever it is. I want that.”

“Not the vials?” asks Laura doubtfully, though without heat. Travis shakes his head.

“Sorry, be with you in a sec, Jester,” says Travis-Fjord.

“Okay,” says Matt. “You Misty Step over to the desk… and I’ll have you make a constitution saving throw for me, Fjord, as you reach into the draw to grab what you can.”

There is mild to moderate swearing around the table, but Travis ignores it. Fjord cops a face-full of poison taking out the drawer from the desk – but he still does manage to run back to Jester and hold onto her elbow, with barely enough movement to reach over to the portal before the end of his turn.

Only then does Matt start counting out d6’s to repeat the psychic damage for the trip back to the material plane.

“That will be – oh, good roll,” says Matt, and whistles as everyone else winces at the sound of plastic against wood.

“Wait, it’s the same as when we came in here?” asks Sam. “That’s crazy.”

Matt just shrugs.  
“That will be… thirty-seven psychic damage for everyone as you tumble out of the crate into the basement of your house in Xorhas. It’s ten d6,” he adds in response the looks he gets from the players.

“Well, shit,” Travis comments. “… I’m out.”

“Me too,” says Marisha, putting down her pencil. “We should have healed more.”

“Matt, did you say thirty-seven?” Laura asks with unease. “… Because I’m out too.”

Around the table, they exchange very nervous looks as the Mighty Nein is down a cleric. Liam raises both of his hands and doesn’t even bother confirming that Caleb is unconscious as well.

“I’m alright,” says Taliesen. “I’m down to seventeen. I guess I would notice I’m getting hurt again coming back, and bonus action Spare the Dying on Caleb as soon as I’m in the basement again; I would just assume he’s passed back out.” He runs his tongue over his lips. “I’m going to – crap, did I prepare Mass Healing Word?”

“I’m up,” says Ashley.

“I am… not,” says Sam, raising his eyebrows at his own tablet.

“You are Nott,” Taliesen agrees distractedly under his breath, seeming to notice this only after saying it. “Definitely pretend I didn’t say that. I will cast Mass Healing Word on - who'd unconscious? Caleb, Fjord, Beau, Nott, Jester… wow…”

“You all-“ Matt takes in a gasping breath, illustrating their rescue from unconsciousness “- wake up, thanks to Caduceus’s magic.” He giggles nervously. “Good thing you prepared that.”

Liam groans, blinking his eyes blearily.  
“Oh, you would think I would be used to this by now,” says Liam-Caleb stiltedly.

“Thank you, Caduceus,” says Laura-Jester, rubbing her head.

“Yeah, thanks ‘Ducey,” mutters Travis-Fjord; the others murmur their appreciation from across both tables. “Well, hell.”

“That was fucked up,” says Marisha-Beau in a strained voice, frowning and leaning on her elbows on the table. “Did Essek Theylass know about this? This fucking –pocket dimension murder crate. He has to know it’s here.”

“Were those the Shadowhand’s Shadow-Fingers?” asks Liam-Caleb seriously. “I am not looking at you, Laura, that was a serious question,” he adds, as Laura snickers.

Taliesen tilts his head to the side as if considering, and Matt shakes his head with a mild glower at Liam.

“I’m thinking,” Travis-Fjord pushes in, “What about the Bright Queen?”

“Sure you are,” mutters Sam-Nott.

“Hey Nott, why did you think this was part of Fjord’s plan?” asks Laura-Jester innocently and loudly, grinning at Sam next to her.

Travis cocks his head to one side.  
“What do you mean, Jester?” Travis-Fjord asks.

Sam smiles blankly for a moment, and blinks.  
“It was just a joke, just a funny joke,” says Sam-Nott unconvincingly, but adds in a stage whisper to Laura, “It wasn’t a joke, Fjord is definitely evil, but just be cool.”

“Ah, what now?” asks Travis-Fjord, raising an eyebrow. “Nott, I can assure you, I’m confused, and I’m fucking jacked up from that there crate.”

“Yeah, it was dumb, I have… a fucked up sense of humour,” says Sam-Nott – but then Sam leans sideways to Laura and adds, “No I don’t, my sense of humour is great.”

There is an awkward pause.  
“Well, I feel like shit,” says Marisha-Beau. “I’m going to go have a nap on the next relatively clean surface I see.”

“I’ll go and give the house a quick once over, just in case. Just to make sure everything is still safe, still comfortable, and nothing happened when we were gone…” says Taliesen-Caduceus.

“I’ll go with you,” says Ashley-Yasha.

“Yep, good call, good call,” says Sam-Nott. “Jester, a word?”

Laura immediately brightens.  
“Of course, Nott!”

 

\- 0 -

 

Nott has her arms crossed, and is once again pacing backwards and forth across the small patch of empty floor in she and Caleb’s bedroom. The door is locked, and Jester is sitting, legs neatly crossed, on Caleb’s bed. The bed Caleb brought in for Nott still remains untouched.  
Both of them are still ragged and wounded, but on the mend. Jester has ice-burns all up one arm, and Nott’s still has her loaded crossbow strapped to her back.

Heedless of this, Jester’s eyes are wide with shock and what looks like delight, and she presses her palms to each side of her own head dramatically.

“So - Fjord and Caleb are in love?!” she exclaims, her voice unusually high pitched. “Oh my gosh, Nott!”

Nott glares at her.  
"I didn't - no Jester, just one time, Caleb had a moment of the sillies, and fell into a warlock's wicked scheme..."

Jester giggles, lowering her hands to cover her mouth.  
“This explains so much, like you don’t even know,” she says, words running into each other like they might not be separate words at all. “Do you think they’ve been in love for months and months? Do you think – oh my gosh, Nott, do you think they write poems for each other?”

“ _No_ ,” says Nott decisively, stopping pacing.

“Do you think Caleb has taught Fjord how to kiss?” Jester asks, ignoring Nott’s extremely obvious displeasure. “Because he’s really terrible I think.”

Nott’s thin lips become even thinner as she stares silently. Jester’s smile doesn’t falter.

“Nott. Did they have sex on this bed?” she asks in a low, scandalous tone.

“Jester, I love you but I swear to all of the gods!” Nott snaps. “Gross. Gross, Jester.”

“It’s not gross.”

Nott slams her hands down on the side of Caleb’s bed – but it’s a bed, so this is silent and doesn’t have much of an impact.  
“Fjord’s up to something, Jester, something sinister, and he’s using our wizard! We have to get to the bottom of this.”

Jester’s grin softens, just a bit.

“We on the same page?” asks Nott sharply.

“Yes of course we’re on the same page, we’re always on the same page, Nott,” Jester promises.

“Good. Now, Jester, take this down,” says Nott, and goes back to pacing. “Theories. One: something about Fjord’s little pacty with Uk’atoa.”

Jester pulls out her notebook, and seems to be mostly paying attention. Either way, her quill touches the page.  
“Uk’atoa,” she repeats in a whisper.

“Two: he’s taking over the group!” Nott exclaims. “Three: he wants to assassinate the group! Four: something to do with magic…” She pauses for a long moment in her pacing, and then raises a one green finger. “Five: doppelganger!”

“Okay but I really don’t think Fjord is a doppelganger,” says Jester.

“This is definitely our most difficult case yet,” says Nott, nodding. “What could this villain’s motivation possibly be? Why would Fjord do this…”

“I have an idea,” says Jester seriously, “Maybe it’s because Caleb has a really cute chin.” She pauses in whatever she is writing to pinch her own chin. “Oh, and also, have you noticed that if Caleb laughs and he is surprised at the same time, he sort of gets a little nook here.” She points to her cheek. “Like a little dimple, but like, only on this side. Fjord mentioned it to me, but it’s definitely true, Nott, I saw it.”

Nott stares through narrowed, distrusting eyes.  
“What?”

“Oh and also,” Jester goes on enthusiastically, spinning around on the bed and laying down so her head hangs over the edge, to look at Nott upside down. “Caleb has freckles on his hips! It’s like, why does he have those? Was he naked in the sun? Should I ask him about it, because Caleb gets really weird when people ask questions, but ten out of ten, Nott, would recommend checking out those freckles next time you see him naked.”

Jester smiles to herself, and looks at her notebook, then back to Nott.

“Oh Nott, you’re blushing!” she coos, reaching forward, still upside down, to press her palms against Nott’s flushed green cheeks.

Nott glowers, but lets her.

“Oh!” Jester exclaims. “Or maybe it’s Caleb’s-”

“Jester!” Nott interrupts shrilly. “Stop thirsting for Caleb, this is a work environment!”

 

\- 0 –

 

Laura and Sam are just looking at each other, and it’s like they are not even aware of the others’ presence as they have this conversation.

They pay no mind to the pink faces, to Ashley fanning at her face as if trying to catch her breath, to Marisha slouched back in her chair arms tightly crossed over her belly, to Travis casting a smug look at Liam because at least they’re not talking about Fjord. To the fact that Liam is looking down at the table but not even pretending to focus on anything but the conversation.

“I’m just saying,” says Laura-Jester, in a low, suggestive voice, leaning towards Sam and she glances over towards the other table, “maybe... Fjord decided to follow Caleb’s happy trail just to see where it goes, you know?”

Taliesen actually snorts and Liam wraps his arms around his own head, leaning back from the table. Even Laura is blushing.

“Jester, I can't help but feel you're not taking this case seriously,” complains Sam-Nott, through Sam is grinning widely. "Am I all alone here?"

“Oh Nott, no, not at all, I am taking the case so seriously!” Laura-Jester promises. “We’re just such really good detectives, we do have to consider every angle.”

“But do we really have to consider every single angle _of Caleb?_ ” Sam-Nott demands.

“No, I guess not,” says Laura-Jester. She pauses for effect, and gives a devilish grin. “Althooough…”

“Jester!” Sam-Nott snaps.

“I’m just saying!” Laura-Jester squeaks. “Sometimes a person can have a really skinny butt but it's still like oh man, I'd like to-" she laughs, but doesn't allow herself more than the briefest pause, "I'd sure like to party with that butt.”

Liam's mouth is open, like he wants to laugh but can't quite breathe, and instead he settles for dramatically hiding behind Marisha's shoulder. She's pink too though, and pats his head.

“Oh god,” murmurs Travis, pushing away a tear of laughter with the heel of his hand, "oh my god." Matt has one fist pressed his forehead and his eyes squeezed shut.

“I’m just saying,” says Laura-Jester, and Laura clears her throat. “I’m just saying, I bet that is exactly what Fjord would say if you asked him why he wanted to have sex with Caleb.”

“Like exactly that, you think?” asks Sam-Nott. Sam looks sincere and just a little bit hysterical. “If we ask him, he’ll just get really, uncomfortably graphic?”

“Probably even more graphic, probably,” Laura-Jester confirms with a shrug. “He’s got more-” she tries not to laugh, but can’t quite suppress it, “- hands on experience.”

“Mercy, oh mercy,” Taliesen whimpers, high pitched.

“Wow,” says Sam-Nott. "It's hard to imagine how it would be possible for that conversation to be more graphic than this one. I'm excited to find out."

Liam sits up again, breathing carefully and holding onto his rib cage with both hands. Travis is shaking his head slowly at Laura and Sam.

“And anyway,” says Laura-Jester. “You never know, Nott, maybe it’s Caleb who’s up to something. Although – well, I mean, who _wouldn’t_ want to sleep with Fjord… He-”

"Whoa!" Sam-Nott interrupts, as half of the cast look like they're about to interject before Fjord gets the same treatment. "Whoa, let's not get creepy here," says Sam-Nott. "I think now we know - probably the worst kinds of things that Fjord might say when we interrogate him. I would say, based on this conversation we have just had - we’re ready to do some serious detective work. We're ready to get tough.”

Laura nods, pressing the back of her hand to her face to cool her blush.  
“I think probably we’re super ready,” she agrees though, as Jester.

“So have you been – did you take notes on any of this?” asks Sam-Nott.

“No,” says Laura-Jester. “I didn’t do that. But! I did draw a picture of Fjoooord. And Caaaayleb… And Caleb is on Fjord’s lap…”

“Oh god,” Sam-Nott responds.

"Oh no," Travis laughs under his breath.

“But they’re being very polite!” Laura-Jester adds defensively, shrugging like this is obvious and looking around at the other players. “They’re both wearing clothes mostly, and they’re just having some tea, you know, they’re having a great time!”

“Jester!” Sam-Nott snaps unconvincingly.

“But also,” Laura adds sincerely, in Jester’s voice, “Fjord has an evil-guy twirly moustache because I know we are _definitely_ suspicious of what he is up to.”

Sam narrows his eyes and nods slowly.  
“Good,” says Sam-Nott. “Good work, Jester, I knew I could count on you. And we both have to keep an eye on Caleb. This _cannot_ happen again.”

Sam and Laura share a look, and both turn to face the front more fully, their job well done. They glance between the others, as if only now fully accepting there were witnesses to that whole exchange.

“What?” says Laura, putting on a forceful voice. She crosses her arms, and juts her jaw to the side. “What are you looking at?”

“Yeah, come on guys,” says Sam. “We’re trying to play Dungeons and Dragons here.”

“So,” says Matt. When he continues, his voice breaks weakly. “Thank you, Laura and Sam. Um. Everyone else is… resting?”

Liam lets out a long breath, pushing down his hysteria to try and force a Caleb expression back onto his face.  
“I think Liam needs a short rest," he says, rubbing his midsection. "But ah - ja, knock knock knock on Fjord’s door.” He knocks on the table.

Travis looks over to him incredulously.  
“What?”

“Hi, ah, Fjord, can I come in,” says Liam-Caleb. “Nott has locked me out of my room.”

Travis throws both hands in the air, and Marisha gives a loud laugh of surprise.

“Ah, _shit!_ ” shrieks Sam. Laura crosses her arms on the table, and lays her head down on them, shoulders shaking with laughter.

“Sure, why the hell not,” says Travis. He clears his throat, and slips back into Fjord’s voice. “I mean - sure, of course, Caleb… Can I… take your coat?”

“Danke schön,” says Liam with a twinkling smirk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a Tough day for Fjord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extremely blatant spoilers for e62 ^^
> 
> HUGE thanks to the widofjord discord for helping me with some of Nott's dialogue here. xxxx You guys are the bestest.  
> xxxx
> 
> And yep, this has a scene I have been waiting to write since the beginning of Mixing it Up...

There is still a chaotic sort of energy on the set of Critical Role – but that’s not too unusual. Matt is no longer hiding his face, blushes are fading, Liam is not holding onto Marisha for dear life, and Laura can breathe again.

Travis narrows his eyes uncertainly as Liam turns to face him, expression beginning to ease back to Caleb’s customary gravity.

“I will go into Fjord’s bedroom,” says Liam, in Caleb’s voice. With every word, his focus seems to become a little heavier. “And I – ah. I will keep my coat on, I think, for the moment.”

Travis, who had been miming a slightly exaggerated, gentlemanly sort of bow, changes his demeanour again uncertainly as it becomes clearer this may be an actual scene as opposed to an immediate fade to black. His shoulders are set, and he straightens up with determined focus.

“Sure, Caleb. Of course,” says Travis-Fjord gently. He glances at Matt. “Have we rested yet?”

Matt looks between Liam and Travis.  
“I don’t know, have you rested yet?”

“Ah – probably not?” says Liam. “The moment I realised Nott was busy in our room, zip.”

He draws a line in the air indicating a dash to Fjord’s room.

Matt gestures with one hand to Travis.  
“There you go.”

“Right,” he says, making his voice a bit more strained as he brings back Fjord’s drawl. “I was just going to rest, since we just got our asses handed to us by a fucking crate. I’m actually surprised to see you up and walking ‘round…”

“Well,” says Liam-Caleb warily. “Perhaps by now I am used to ending up flat on my back.”

Liam immediately winces. Maybe the spark of childish energy hasn’t completely left the set just yet – not quite.

“Oh, _are_ you Caleeeb?” Laura-Jester calls from the other table, deliberately obnoxious. She curls both hands into fists and rests her chin on them to watch him expectantly.

Liam breathes out slightly, like he is taking a blow but not necessarily disliking the experience.  
“You are not in this room; Jester is traumatising my goblin and drawing fanart right now,” he says quietly in Caleb’s voice, glancing at her from the corner of his eye with warmth and well-tested patience.

Laura grins at him and actually looks down to her notebook to start drawing or writing something.  
“Yes, and it's really good…” she mutters in Jester’s voice.

“Either way,” Travis-Fjord pushes on, thickening his accent and ignoring this, “I’m just nursing my nine hit points. You are more than welcome on my bed if you’d care to join.” Although the tone is casual, he silently taps the table with his fingers before hiding them.

Marisha silently mouths ‘ooh’, and pulls back from the table, and Liam frowns, seemingly formulating a reply... but Travis continues awkwardly before he can say anything, Fjord’s confidence clearly wavering.

“I mean. What I meant is, I can take the floor, to rest, that’s comfy too,” Travis-Fjord adds with faux-bravado. “Though obviously if you wouldn't mind - or if you'd like… It’s pretty big.” He gives an uncomfortable, annoyed huff as Caleb (/Liam) doesn’t indicate any desire to intercede, to pull Fjord (/Travis) out of the hole he’s digging. “You know what, I’m beat to shit… I’ll just sit back down on the bed. Break out the bandages, tend to my fucking wounds like a grown up…”

Over at the other table, Sam has his arms crossed and smirks with amusement even as he shakes his head judgmentally.

“Caleb will close the bedroom door,” says Liam in Caleb’s voice, watching Travis intently. “And stumble over to sit next to Fjord. But just, an arms’ length away. Not too close.”

Travis clears his throat.  
“Uh. Hey,” says Travis-Fjord uncertainly.

“Fjord, now that we have some privacy,” Liam-Caleb begins.

“Hey-yup…”

“Would you tell me, please, why have you been speaking to us with a fake accent for months,” says Liam-Caleb. Ashley and Taliesen perk up with expressions of mild surprise, and Marisha raises an eyebrow.

Travis seems to talk before necessarily thinking of what to say; either way he dials his accent up even further.  
“Uh, what now? I don’t think I’m quite following you there…?” says Travis-Fjord.

 

\- 0 –

 

Caleb does not get much of an answer, about Fjord’s accent, his identity, his motives – but this doesn’t seem to come as much of a surprise. Through the conversation, they are still sitting next to each other on the bed, though they are nowhere near close enough to touch. Fjord is seemingly unable to decide whether he wants to move closer or further away, and settles on remaining in place, spending most of the exchange with his fingers curled tightly in, clawing at his own knees. Whenever he meets Caleb’s eye, though – and he does – it is with apparent sincerity. He needs time, he says, and he needs to make the choice himself, on his own initiative, if he is to reveal what may have come before this new identity he has chosen for himself.

Caleb is reluctant, but agrees to let the question be, for now. Fjord does promise there is no danger nipping at his heels, or at least none that will impact the rest of the group. He swears he will tell Caleb if this changes.

By this point, Fjord has grown restless, and has begun one-handedly fiddling with the bandage he has wrapped around his shoulder.

He still meets Caleb’s eye though. Still seems earnest. The story will remain unspoken – for now.

“I promise you, I will work out the ‘how’,” says Fjord in a low voice. “And the ‘when’. So long as we can keep all of this... between us.”

The question of ‘if’ he will share the truths he has left behind has already been conceded, if not in quite so many words. Fjord twists a loose thread of bandage between his fingers, waiting to see if this enough.

After a few long moments, there is still silence, and Fjord's hand picks up a mild tremor.  
“Caleb-“

“Stop – stop that,” Caleb interjects finally. “Give me your hand.”

With the faintest grunt of pain, Caleb shifts a foot closer to Fjord, holding out his hand, and Fjord grasps onto his forearm securely.

“We are friends,” says Caleb. “I am not… good at this, I am pretty much trash as far as friends go. But at least know that I am trying. I’ll wait.”

Fjord looks down. The sleeve of Caleb’s coat is torn at intervals, the frost-seared skin beneath reddened with burns, and Caleb’s hands still carry smudges of ash from his arcane fire. Fjord’s armour sits on the other side of the room, on his rickety little writing desk, and a dark blue-green bruise has blossomed on his cheekbone.

“Thank you,” Fjord responds lowly. “Caleb, I…” Fjord breathes out, and slowly pulls his hand back. He turns it over in his lap. “I don’t want to read into anything that’s not there, but… well, we said that nothing was meant to change…”

Caleb narrows his eyes questioningly.

“I mean, you wouldn’t have –” Fjord hesitates, shaking his head. “I was going to say ‘you wouldn’t have cared before’, but…” He gives a self-deprecating grimace.

“Incorrect,” says Caleb, decisive it not necessarily loud. “I would have, and I do. This conversation has been an inevitability for some time.”

Fjord gives a grunt of scepticism, still looking down at his hands.  
“Okay,” Caleb concedes under his breath. “I admit that… ah. Hearing my own name in an intimate context, in a voice I was quite sure you did not mean to share with me, was… memorable.” Despite himself, there is a slight, pink flush about his cheekbones. He finally stops trying to catch Fjord's eye and looks down at the ground, just as Fjord looks back at him. Caleb clears his throat. “But no, before then, long before then… Your front may be masterful, Fjord. Even authentic in intent. But there are still flaws.”

“What about you?” asks Fjord after a long moment.

Caleb gives a humourless laugh.  
“I am mostly flaws,” he mutters. He goes on before this statement can hang in the air for too long, or Fjord can respond. “But no, nothing has changed. It is just that now, after so many weeks, we have a chance for a conversation free from prying ears. It’s not perfect by any means, but this is as much security as we can reasonably hope to muster, I think.”

Fjord nods slowly.  
“Thank you,” he says. “For waiting to ask, for guarding my privacy… Looking out for me. You really didn’t have to do that.”

Caleb looks sidelong at Fjord, guarded but not cold. Fjord hesitantly raises a hand, and grips gently onto Caleb’s shoulder. He rubs his thumb against his collarbone.

“It seems to me like there’s a lot to appreciate about you,” says Fjord. “And I do, Caleb. I appreciate you.”

Caleb purses his lips grimly, but he still reaches up to cover Fjord’s hand with his own.  
“And I you, my friend,” he says.

 

\- 0 –

 

Everybody is silent, and Marisha is frozen still like she wants to fade away into the background completely. Travis has one hand on the table, his knuckles whitened just a bit with focus and pressure.

“Now kisssss,” Laura says in a low, dramatic kind of growl. Marisha responds with a look, and Sam a half-hearted glare.

“Okay, this is awkward now, I am going to leave,” says Liam-Caleb under his breath. He has a hand laid flat on the table too, but he curls his fingers up and draws back.

"What, no no no!" squeaks Laura. "I wasn't there, I'm sorry!"

“Rest well, Fjord," says Liam-Caleb. "And I’ll get up and… stumble off.”

A few of them let out long breaths, including Travis who also shakes his head.

“What, you going to go break into your room?” Travis-Fjord asks. “You share with the fucking rogue, Caleb.”

Liam doesn’t answer him except to shrug.

“No look, calm your farm. Wait–" Travis-Fjord starts.

"You can barely stand," says Liam-Caleb.

Taliesen murmurs something over at the other table, which Liam seems to notice but can't catch. He only gives it a moment of thought though, as Travis clearly hasn't let the scene end yet.

"I just wanted to say," says Travis-Fjord. He looks down for a moment. "Before you go, take these papers."

"... Oh."

"I grabbed them for - I grabbed them when we were in the crate," says Travis-Fjord, customarily awkward and with an air of determination about him. Most of the bottom row look surprised, having evidently forgotten this detail (though to be fair, half of them had been on zero hit points at the time). "Just figured it'd be a shame to come back totally fucking empty handed.”

With one hand, Travis offers an invisible stack of paper, but dramatically turns his head away. It carries the energy of a middle-schooler giving a flower to a crush, and from the other table Ashley and Sam coo. Travis gives a wincing grin, but remains committed.

Liam automatically mimes taking the invisible papers from him, and pays no attention whatsoever to any of this.

“What is in these papers?” Liam-Caleb asks. Liam glances at Matt.

“What you see is about a three quarter-inch thick stack of papers, mostly loose parchment,” Matt explains. He keeps his voice quite neutral and unobtrusive, to avoid disturbing the nervous energy that kicked up again unexpectedly. “It includes one thin book with a rough cover; you don’t recognise the material, and…” He looks down at something behind his screen. “At least for the top sheet of paper – what languages do you speak?”

“Common, Celestial, Sylvan,” says Liam. “Zemnian.”

“You do not recognise this language at a glance.”

“I will see what I can deduce,” says Liam-Caleb, not looking at Travis, who is facing the front again. Liam straightens up a bit in his chair. “Das ist gut. Rest well, Fjord, goodbye,” he adds absently. “And I will take all of the papers he has given me and leave, and go and hole up in the corner of the library and begin to ritually cast Comprehend Languages - no, Detect Magic first…”

“You’re welcome, Caleb,” says Travis quietly, in a pitiful Fjord voice.

Taliesen holds one hand over his heart sympathetically, and Marisha rubs Travis's shoulder. Travis pouts.

"Aww, buddy," murmurs Matt under his breath.

"So cold," says Sam.

Liam grins impishly as he scrolls through something on his tablet.

“Anyway," says Travis, back to normal. "I’ll pass the fuck out."

Matt nods to him.  
“And you pass out,” he confirms. “Caleb, there are two auras here. The book, and oddly, one of the sheets of parchment – but it appears to be blank.”

Most of the cast look pleasantly surprised – Liam in particular, of course.

“I will ritually cast Identify on each of them,” he says in Caleb’s voice. “And then I will cast Comprehend Languages…”

As Matt gets up to hand Liam a couple of sheets of paper, one of which actually looks quite long, Laura groans.

“We are never going to find out what those are,” she says. “Never. We don’t even know he has them.”

Liam raises his eyebrows as he reads the longer paper.  
“Oh boy,” he says without apology. “Oh boy oh boy! Thanks, Fjord.”

Travis rolls his head back and makes a loud snoring sound.

 

\- 0 -

 

Everywhere is shadowy in Rosohna – not dark to the point where it’s impossible to see, but dark enough that quiet movement always seems slightly ominous, and flickering flame always creates soft, dancing lights on the surrounding walls and floor.

Making barely a sound, a tiny figure creeps down a narrow hallway, and careful, green fingers wrap around a wooden doorknob. Steadily, inch by inch, the door is pushed open, and the little figure gestures to a bigger one – though still not very big by any means – further back in the hallway. The second figure approaches, the pink socks she is wearing making no sound as they touch the floor.

The wooden floors give barely a creak as the two tip-toe into the a bedroom, where a man is fast asleep, laid out on his back and snoring. The smaller shadowy figure ever so gently pulls the door shut behind her, as the other scans the room carefully, from the slightly dented armour sitting on the desk, to the bedding folded, unused, by the sleeping man's feet. The two intruders lock eyes, and nod to each other.

Nott takes a running leap onto the sleeping Fjord’s chest, the claws on her feet digging into his stomach as she lands with a crouch, steadying herself by digging the claws on her fingers, too, into his collarbone.

At the same time, Jester giggles as she runs up and jumps onto the bed, landing on her knees next to Fjord and pushing both of her hands over his mouth.

Fjord's eyes shoot open as he is accosted by goblin and tiefling alike, and Nott screams directly into his face, bearing her teeth.  
“Aaah! No quick moves, you soggy bastard!”

“Nnnngh!” Fjord’s startled yelp is smothered by Jester’s strong hands.

“You can’t Eldritch Blaaast your way out of this!” shrieks Nott.

Fjord's eyes dart between her and Jester.  
"Mmmph?" he grunts, high pitched and confused.

“That's right, 'Fjord', if that is your real name," Nott growls. "We’re onto you.”

“Yeah, we are so onto you right now,” Jester agrees in a low voice, possibly in an attempt to be threatening.

Fjord takes in a steadying breath through his nose. He raises one hand slowly, keeping an eye on Nott in particular, and shakily picks up one of Jester’s hands by the wrist to remove it from his mouth – which she allows him to do, easily.

“Just don’t yell out to everybody, okay Fjord?” she says conversationally, and lets him push the other one out of the way too. “That could be really annoying for them.”

Fjord gives a hysterical huff of a laugh, and Jester pauses, only now noticing his bandaged shoulder.

“Oh no! Are you still hurt, do you need me to heal you?”

“I’m so… fucking confused right now,” says Fjord slowly, incredulously, his racing pulse still actually visible against his throat.

“Sure you are,” says Nott. “But we have some questions for you, and you had better start talking… Eldritch faaast.”

 

\- 0 –

 

Liam snickers and Travis shakes his head at him darkly. Everyone looks some form of entertained. It's a nice respite, actually, after the last hour or so has been unexpectedly lore-heavy.

“Nott,” says Travis-Fjord. “What in the damn hell – get off me!”

Sam bares his teeth and hisses.

“We have some really serious questions, Fjord,” says Laura-Jester earnestly.

“I’ll push Nott off,” says Travis, waving one hand in front of himself as if shoving the goblin away. “And sit up.”

Sam growls but doesn’t object. He crosses his arms.  
"Watch yourself, brine-breath," Sam-Nott growls.

“Question one,” says Laura-Jester, beaming at Travis and miming holding a notepad. “What do you think of this, do you really, really love it?”

She holds up the invisible notepad.  
“And I’ll show him my picture of Caleb drinking tea in Fjord’s lap and Fjord has an evil moustache,” says Laura-Jester. “But like, Caleb also has cat ears now.”

Liam snorts, and Ashley coos.  
“Aww…”

“Uh. What is this now?” asks Travis-Fjord, mildly horrified.

“Answer the fucking question!” Sam-Nott snaps. “There is no Fjord Escape!”

“Oh no,” says Taliesen under his breath as Travis just closes his eyes for a moment, absorbing. “Oh dear…”

“I always like your art, Jester,” says Travis-Fjord carefully, after a moment. “You’ve got a real gift, I honestly admire your... creativity, are those cat ears?”

“Oh thank you, Fjord!” says Laura-Jester, beaming happily. "Yes they are, and before you ask, this other one is just Caleb in booty shorts. He's just leaning against the wall, really chilling out, you know..."

"That's uh - interesting," says Travis-Fjord warily. "You wouldn't think he'd - I mean, he's not a chill-out kind of guy..."

"Have _you_ ever been stressed out in booty-shorts, Fjord?" Laura-Jester challenges, raising an eyebrow.

Travis visibly runs through all the wrong answers to that question in his head. He glances between Marisha and Liam, who is resting his head in one hand, watching. Marisha shrugs.  
"... I can't say that I have," Travis-Fjord says finally.

“I guess that checks out so far," says Sam-Nott darkly. "Oh, you’re a slippery Tentacle-man, aren't you.” He shakes his head. "You and your demons, and your demi-god, and your mysterious Eldritch paaast..."

“What?" says Travis-Fjord. He shakes his head. "Actually you know what? Get the fuck out of my room."  
Travis points off to the side.  
"Get!"

Sam looks at Laura nervously.

"Hey," says Laura-Jester. "Don't tell us what to do, Fjord. We're investigating you."

Sam nods and crosses his arms.

“What in the hell are you talking about?” asks Travis-Fjord.

Travis pauses though, and raises one finger as Fjord composes himself.

"Now," says Travis-Fjord more calmly. "Jester, I certainly hope I have not done anything to-”

“You slept with Caleb, Captain Fucknuts, what did you think would happen!” Sam-Nott interrupts explosively and out of nowhere, shrill words running together.  
Marisha gives a laugh of surprise and then immediately covers her mouth.  
“Did you think we wouldn’t find out about your little Fjord Fiesta? Obviously there is a bigger, nefarious plan here! Fjord, what’s your-” Sam glances down at his notebook in front of him. “Deal-er. Ship. Fjord dealership.”

Liam holds up one hand, tilting it uncertainly.  
“Yeah,” says Sam-Nott, crossing out something in his notebook. “Bit of a stretch.”

“Sort of reaching…” agrees Taliesen.

“Look, I get what you were going for,” says Travis in Fjord’s voice, kindly. “It was a little abstract, but…”

“Fjord, Focus!” Sam-Nott snaps suddenly, slamming his hands on the table.

Travis raises both hands, glancing between the others worriedly.  
“Jesus… sorry, what was the question?” Travis-Fjord asks, though it's not clear how much this in character.

"Slept with Caleb," Marisha reminds him under her breath.

"Oh yeah!" Travis squeaks, trying not to laugh. "Shit - Nott, did Caleb - I mean, what are you talking about?"

"You can't lie to us, Fjord," says Laura-Jester, shaking her head. "Not while we're on the case. We have a very important - client?"

Sam nods. Liam makes an uncertain noise, but is ignored.

“We have a very important client with very bad taste," Sam-Nott agrees. Sam interlaces his fingers, leaning forward seriously. "So what is your game, you salty siren bitch?"

Travis's lip twitches as he attempts to keep a straight face.  
"Yeah, what's your game?" Laura-Jester whispers.

"Good back-up," says Sam-Nott, and Laura grins. Sam turns back to Travis, narrowing his eyes. "What are you planning?"

"What are you planning?" Laura-Jester whispers.

"Are you going to hurt Caleb?" asks Sam-Nott.

"Are you?" Laura-Jester whispers, also leaning forward over the table to stare at Travis.

Somehow – despite the puns, the farce, the echoing from Laura – Sam’s words actually come across as genuinely vulnerable in this moment.

“Choose your words carefully,” Sam-Nott adds on top of this. “Or they might be… your Eldritch laaast.”

Laura makes a throat-slitting motion.

"This is - uh..." Travis clears his throat, switching his accent back to Fjord's. "This is a lot to process, Nott. Jester..." He glances at Laura with concern. "I don't want to hurt anybody in this group, least of all Caleb... And I _certainly_ don’t know what could possibly have possessed him to tell you about any of this…”

Liam slides down behind his tablet to hide his shit-eating grin as several of the others glance his way.

“Are you trying to take over the Mighty Nein?” Sam-Nott asks sharply.

“What? No…”

"You trying to Fjord Flex?" Sam-Nott asks. "That's an SUV," Sam adds to the group.

Taliesen cocks his head to the side and Matt nods like this is totally normal.

“Can you grow a moustache?” asks Laura-Jester in the same serious tone.

“Are you going to kill us all?” demands Sam-Nott.

“I can't say that I can,” says Travis-Fjord slowly, his twang thickening as Fjord seems overwhelmed. "And... no. Is this how you guys usually investigate things? This your _modus operandi_?"

"I don't know what that is," whispers Laura-Jester to Sam.

"Watch it, Fjord, we will not be Eldritch saaassed!" Sam-Nott screeches. Liam and Marisha share an affirmative nod.

"That was a good one," Liam whispers.

"Sorry," says Travis-Fjord, chastened.

“How long have you been in love with Caleb?” Laura-Jester asks helpfully.

“How long have you been _planning to ensnare_ Caleb?” Sam-Nott corrects her.

“Was it hard not to use your claws?” asks Laura-Jester in a lower, suggestive voice, and waggles her eyebrows at Travis. "Some people like that sort of thing, _Fjord_..."

Travis glances over to Liam for help, but Liam just sinks further in his chair, the tablet now completely hiding his face.

"I think his silence says it all," says Laura-Jester.

“That’s right, saltwater lungs,” Sam-Nott snarls. “We know what kind of Fjord Explorer you are. We're fucking onto you.”

"Nott, I'm going to he straight with you here-" Travis-Fjord starts weakly, but is interrupted.

"Lies!" Sam-Nott shrieks, pointing at Travis. "Jester! That was a lie!"

Laura offers a hand, and Sam high-fives her. Travis holds his head in his hands, having entirely lost control of the situation.

"I think we are really good at this, Nott," says Laura-Jester smugly. "We are like superheroes or something."

Sam nods, expression just slightly unhinged.  
"Oh, you poor villain," says Sam-Nott, glaring at Travis. "You never had a chance. You're so Eldritch outclaaassed."

Matt hides his face in one hand.  
"Oh, guys," he mumbles under his breath.

"I think we've made a lot of progress," says Laura-Jester fairly. "We've learned some things. He shared way more than I expected, Nott, to be honest."

"I know!" says Sam-Nott. "It's like - some things can just stay in the bedroom. This doesn't have to be a Fjord Exhibition." Sam looks back at Travis again. "Sicko."

“Right, well,” says Travis-Fjord loudly. “I guess I'll be seeing you later. Out you both get now.”

Sam makes a low growling notice.

"Okay, Fjord," says Laura-Jester cheerfully. She mimes tearing something very carefully. "I'll just leave picture here for you."

"Which one?" asks Marisha.

"The Caleb in booty shorts one, of course," says Laura in Jester's voice, seeming incensed. "The other one is an important document in this case!"

"Right, sorry," says Marisha in Beau's voice, raising both hands. "I'm not there, ignore me."

"So that is for you," Laura-Jester says with a big grin, handing out the invisible sheet of paper, which Travis reluctantly accepts. "You enjoy that, Fjord."

"Thanks," says Travis-Fjord flatly.

"And you better fucking watch yourself!" Sam-Nott adds suddenly, unexpectedly, pointing at Travis again. "Don't step out of line, you deep-sea delinquent. Or you'll end up in an Eldritch caaast."

Travis opens and shuts his mouth, struggling for words.

“We’ll kind of step backwards, towards the door,” says Laura, wrapping one arm around Sam and shifting a bit, miming walking backwards. “Maintaining eye contact.”

“O… kay then,” says Matt. He gives a nervous chuckle.

“This is fucking insane,” says Travis. “You’re insane.”

Sam points two fingers at his own face, and then points them towards Travis.  
“I’ll pull the door closed silently. And just melt back into the shadows,” he says, voice growing soft.

After a beat, Taliesen gives a huff of a laugh.  
"Wow."

"Wow," Matt agrees.

“Nott, I think we did a really good job,” Laura stage-whispers in Jester’s excitable voice. “We totally scared the shit out of him.”

"He's Fjord not-so Tough," Sam-Nott stage whispers back, nodding. "It's good you didn't give him the other drawing though. We need that for the case."

"I know!" Laura-Jester hisses back. "I'm not _stupid_ , Nott." Laura looks over at the table as Marisha nods, accepting the shade. "Do you want to go and interrogate Caleb now?"

Travis nods encouragingly and gives Sam a thumbs up. Only now has Liam stopped hiding behind his tablet and sat up again.

"No," says Sam-Nott. "I mean, he's our client." Sam mostly drops Nott's voice to add. "Also, I'd need some new material. Most of my Eldritch Blast and Widogast stuff is the same, so I'll need some time to workshop it."

"Eldritch Widoblast," says Taliesen with an understanding nod.

Travis scratches his cheek with his middle finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I usually wouldn't write around a canon scene like this, but I also didn't want to rewrite it. Because it rocked. And I wanted to make it clear that happened within this fic too, despite the different circumstances.
> 
> Thank you everybody for reading; your support and comments give this insane story life!

**Author's Note:**

> Want to come hang with me on tumblr? Yes? THEN YOU TOTALLY SHOULD. :D  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ophelialmx
> 
> And thank you for reading. <3


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